#i am so confused it's like kind of good that it's not clearly romantic or platonic bcs idk what i want either just that i like her a lot

[peppermintbutch]

gaaah

[iceunhie]

— phaethetically in love !

premise. belle thinks her brother is the most oblivious person in sixth street. the reason? one: because his (super obvious) crush on you is practically the worst kept secret in new eridu, and two: because he can't even see that said crush is reciprocated! good thing he has one (1) amazing, wonderful, nosy sister to help him out, yeah?

or, belle thinks the two of you are a prime example of an s tier romance movie; and she really wants to skip to the final arc already.

pairing. wise x gn!reader.

warnings: kinda ooc wise (i just started the game), wise is a loser (lovingly), belle is an instigator (proudly), comedy, facepalm moments.

a/n: for @vxnuslogy and @milksnake-tea bc yes wise kissers yes

MY (rlly cool btw 🥺) MASTERLIST || INBOX !

“you're in love with [name], aren't you?”

like all siblings in the world—or what's left of it, belle schemes.

(against wise, of course. obviously.)

her brother bursts into a mess immediately, nearly spilling his cup ramen all over his new shirt, chopsticks sticking out. laughing nervously. general chop would not be proud. “who told you that? i mean— haha, who said that, belle?”

his sister rolls her eyes. “me, myself. i.” she emphasizes, leaning her elbows against the table and putting her palms together; the grin she wears right now is so serene, but not in the angelic, nice way. belle smiles and wise finally thinks, oh. my sister may need to book herself to the closest self-help guru in new eridu.

“i have reason to believe that you, my dearest brother, are in love with [name].”

her voice goes up an octave at the last bit, leading wise to stuff her mouth with potato chips. already, heads have turned. “mff.”

“keep your voice down! and stop broadcasting it to everyone here-”

“what, i am right, aren't i? they clearly like you back, so why haven't you confessed yet?”

“keep. your. voice. down.” wise says, and belle's shit eating grin only widens as she sees her brother's ears tinged with pink. “and... how did you even know that?” he asks, mortified.

“well, one: because it's obvious—like, have you seen how obvious you are?” belle huffs, taking a bite of the potato chip with force (personal grudges are involved). “and two, because they like you back, dummy!”

because when belle sees the two of you together, it's like wise focuses on no one else. you are the center of his world—and he is just being pulled to bask in your light. his eyes soften like they melt only for you, and wise looks like all he is is, all he wants to be, is to belong with you.

(and, wise likes to stare at you for ungodly amounts of time. belle even caught him staring when you were petting a cat by the street and decided to name the stray ‘wise’; courtesy of him, apparently. the cat literally just had grey fur.

“wise.”

“hm?”

“you're practically spawning heart eyes now.”)

it's sickening. (in a oh my god my brother is in love kind of way, mind you.)

“so!” belle says, a devilish sparkle in her eyes. “allow your dearest sister to help you out, 'kay?”

wise nearly coughs up blood.

“what?!”

so at present, belle compiles her (hastily written) list of romantic moments you and wise have shared. she's not surprised—the number can be counted on one hand. diabolical, disappointing, world-ending! she resists the urge to cough up blood.

first, a coff cafe date with tin man's help: a fail. tin man's wingman capabilities were very superb, but she never heard the end of it when wise was lecturing her about how tin man kept sending over heart shaped desserts and little fortune cookies. the fortune cookies in question which said ‘you can do it!’ and a latte with art of caricature tin man making a heart. (you were very confused). belle thought it was motivating. wise thought it was mortifying.

next, even instilling help from fairy to calculate statistics about what event would you two be likely to be together. fairy said, and belle quotes: “probably never. that kind of pining's for the long run, with the other master's current experience. give it a year or six, master.”

so, she's currently face-palming.

did her brother really have zero game? why were the two of you just dancing around each other?! she's tried everything—from letting you two spend more time with each other in commissions, her inviting you over more to leave you to chat with her brother, and even the entirety of sixth street has lent their aid! how were you two not dating yet?!

“didn't they go on an arcade date at random play yesterday?” belle mutters. “that should've increased your progress by a long mile, bro! even general chop said you two were really, really close in the noodle shop....”

just what was she going to do now? at this rate, her brother would be relationshipless in no time! in fairy's words again, it would be phaethetic. and that would be a phaethal blow on her pride.

“...master, i said no such thing.”

“well, now you did.”

“The Ethereal Reckoning,” there's a pep in your step, the boxes full of movie DVDs in your arms as you walk back to the movie store. it was heavy, but at least you got to walk with the grey-haired proxy beside you. “That movie was great! Thanks for recommending it to me.”

Sporting a dopey, lovesick grin in response, wise nods at that, content to listen to your voice. it was actually belle's idea to let you lend movies you like over so the two of you could talk about it back and forth. wise would need to (begrudgingly) treat her to a bowl of ramen later on.... she saved him—he probably wouldn't even be talking to you for this long at this point, let alone hang out with you without her. for someone so nosy, he guesses his sister was a pretty good wingwoman.

“the main character was pretty similar to billy, you know?” you ramble on as wise listens. “i mean, because they were an android too, and...”

he finds that he's content to listen to anything you say, really. (right now he doesn't really know what you're saying, something about a horror ethereal movie, but you could just tell him anything and he would listen).

“i feel like the heroine's death was unnecessary, though.” you sigh, “too much tension just for it to end like that? how anticlimactic.”

your voice was so nice, so warm and easy to listen to, and wise can't even say anything to retort, simply staring with a growing (lovesick) smile on his face. talking to people was hard work, and talking to you? it might just make him combust.

“...ise? wise?”

“ah, huh?” he snaps out of his trance, only to find you mere inches away from his face, the only thing keeping you apart the boxes full of movies he's carrying. “...!”

“are you listening?” you furrow, and someone really might be out to get him right now because in that moment, wise flinches from the proximity, bumping into you.

then, because the universe thinks his life couldn't get more dramatic than it already was—you stagger, about to fall forward.

he moves before he thinks. “watch out!”

and wise.... practically astral-projects to another plane when he feels you fall into his arms, his hands on your waist. he can feel the warmth of your skin on his, the flustered look on your face. (he feels like he's going to die).

the two of you lock eyes for a moment, and wise feels like he's about to so something very stupid and his hands are still on your waist—

“....”

“.....”

someone save him.

“ah...”

“sorry!” you recover first, hurriedly letting yourself pull away from him (much to his disappointment). “i wasn't looking, and i- are you okay, wise?”

“no, no, it's fine.... i-i'm fine....” he hopes his voice isn't as small as it is, he couldn't be smooth to save his life; and wise helps you gather your bearings, his hands brushing against yours, blood rushing to his ears. sheepishly rubbing at his nape. “sorry, i was distracted.”

perhaps in the mood to lift the atmosphere, you sputter out, “no worries! it's fine! besides, you listened to me all this time.... i really enjoyed the movie, really.”

“of course i'll listen.” and before wise can think to stop his traitor of a mouth, the words spill out of his lips like it always wanted to be.

“you're worth paying attention to.”

it's automatic—your face heats up, warming like the sun on a hot day in new eridu, and god, he is such an idiot-

“you think so?” wise gulps. you looked bashful, and were way too adorable right now, and his face felt like it was on fire.... wait, that's not the point! he has to answer you, at least. this is a chance to make progress!

“y-yeah. definitely. i enjoyed... watching the movie with you.” he says. did his voice just crack just now? “we can hang out more often too, even without belle.”

he feels bad for throwing his sister under the bus like that, but—wait, did he just ask you out on a date? (accidentally)

well, it didn't matter because wise feels like he won the lottery right now, because you brighten up immediately. “really?”

then you cough and compose yourself. “i mean, sure! i'm sure it'll be fun, haha...”

awkward silence ensues. uh oh, did he say something wrong? was he too forward? he wants to say something, but something is lodged in his throat, and wise can't bring up a response. (his heart was beating like crazy right now, though).

“uh...”

“....”

then, something soft brushes against the side of his cheek. as fast as it was felt, wise felt the sensation leave just as easily. did you just-?

you just kissed him. on the cheek.

“thanks for hanging out with me, wise.”

“you're welcome- wha- huh?!” he nearly drops the stack of dvd's he was holding. you pull away, an enigmatic smile on your face. face flushed.

before he can even respond, the two of you finally arrive at the movie store. damn it, gods of the world. why did his luck run out now?

“i guess this is your stop.” he blinks, your voice coming back to him. “and, wise?”

“ah, uh, yeah?”

“it's a date, then?” your eyes sparkle and shine a light through his heart. super effective!

is this really happening? is he really going on a date with you—oh, he's so thrilled he could actually burst into song and kick his feet, but belle would tease him ruthlessly after. nosy sisters were so much work....

“yes!” he almost yells it out, but because he didn't want to look uncool in front of you, wise composes himself. play it cool, play it cool. don't mess up this chance! “yes, definitely. it's... it's a date.”

you put down the other stack of dvd's down the table, flashing him a dizzying, lovely smile smile. wise swears he falls even harder for you.

“then it's a date.”

BONUS.

“seriously?! you're going on a date with them?!” belle shouts, so unceremoniously that wise slaps a hand on her mouth.

“not so loud! but, yeah.” he says, face heating up. “your plan worked, sis.”

“yes! yes! finally!” his sister practically cheers, “i can finally be free of your sickening heart eyes... and finally, our street's most anticipated couple is here!”

wise can't help but sigh in fond exasperation. he guesses he'll let her have this one today.

“also, belle?”

“what?”

“you didn't tell anyone about this, did you?”

...

“uhh....”

(on the day of the date, wise receives an abnormal amount of good luck posters. he also gets a disturbing amount of thumbs up from the neighbors.

the last straw? tin man, giving him a baked cake with the words ‘rooting for you!’ covered in pink heart sprinkles.

he facepalms. belle...!)

a/n: d d do you guys get it..... phaethetically...... phaethon..... wise is phaethon and he's awkward in love lol hahahahaha (💀)

@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.

[cookiekissers]

I got an idea that would be hilarious! Royal margarine x a reader who is so sweet yet oblivious...like they'd mistake flirting as compliments, gestures of flirting as kindness, 'accidents' such as tripping and pinning y/n against a wall as legit accidents...even checking his wrist to see if they're OK.

Just all the way to the point where royal margarine has to be as blunt as possible...like to the point of him shaking y/n and being like 'I AM TRYING TO FLIRT WITH YOU! NOTICE THE HINT! I LOVE YOU! NOTICE ME!!!'

can be hcs or a story...heads up, might send a future request of shadow milk with the same reader to see how he would do the snap of 'ok subtlety clearly isn't working, I have to be as blunt as possible!'

On My Knees [Royal Margarine Cookie x Oblivious Reader]

[oneshot] [fluff]

Royal Margarine Cookie was at the end of his rope. With his face in a mug of ale, he lamented all his woes to his dragon companion, Buttercream.

"And then, I gave Y/N Cookie my most dashing smile, and they didn't even notice!" He complained. Royal Margarine Cookie pouted and leaned against Buttercream's side as the dragon tilted their head in confusion at him. "Oh, Buttercream, how can such a cute Cookie be so oblivious?" He mumbled. "Do I have to get down on my knees and beg?!" Royal Margarine Cookie shouted to no one in particular. He tossed his wooden mug in frustration out of the stables, and it bounced off the cinnamon cobblestone streets, sliding to a halt at the feet of another Cookie.

Royal Margarine Cookie sighed heavily and let his head hang in defeat. Buttercream turned their attention to an approaching Cookie, they urgently nudged their drunk rider with their snout to get his attention, but Royal Margarine glumly swatted the dragon away. At the sound of footsteps, Royal Margarine Cookie lifted his head sadly and nearly jumped out of his dough at the sight of you staring at him curiously.

"Royal Margarine Cookie? What are you doing?" You asked in confusion.

"Y/N Cookie?!" Royal Margarine shouted in surprise. In his tipsy state, the dragon rider struggled to rise to his feet gracefully.

Concerned that he might stumble and hurt himself, you reached out a hand to steady him. Royal Margarine Cookie tried to regain his composure. He quickly smoothed back his pale blonde hair with his butter knife and flashed you a charming grin. Unable to contain yourself, you laughed, which caused Royal Margarine Cookie's expression to shift to one of confusion.

“W-What's so funny? Ahem, what are you doing out so late? It's not safe to be out alone at night.” Royal Margarine Cookie sputtered.

It was charming in a strange way. Seeing the charismatic dragon rider covered in hay while babbling to his dragon. You gingerly picked a piece of straw from his hair and smiled.

"I always like to take night-time walks." You explained. Royal Margarine Cookie gawked at you, his cheeks flushed. You picked another dry stalk from his collar and flicked it away.

Royal Margarine Cookie quickly grasped your hand.

"You're right! It's such a beautiful night, Y/N Cookie. So why don't you and I take a romantic flight on Buttercream, hm?" He purred. You blinked and furrowed your brows slightly in concern.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to fly while drunk, Royal Margarine Cookie." You pointed out. "Why don't I walk you home?" You offered kindly.

Royal Margarine stared at you in disbelief as you gently tugged on his sleeve to get him to follow you.

You jumped as the dragon rider suddenly dropped to his knees and sobbed. Royal Margarine Cookie shuffled on his knees and wrapped his arms around your legs, nearly making you fall.

"Y/N COOKIE!!" He cried pitifully.

"R-Royal Margarine Cookie? What in the world has gotten into you?!" You shouted. Buttercream emerged from the alleyway, and you glanced up at the dragon for some kind of explanation, but they just watched silently.

"Y/N Cookie, please, notice me!" Royal Margarine Cookie blubbered. You tried to console the dragon rider awkwardly while he clung to your legs. You glanced around nervously.

"What? What do you mean?" You questioned in confusion.

"I LOVE YOU, Y/N COOKIE! I LOVE YOU, PLEASE PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!! I'LL DO ANYTHING!" Royal Margarine Cookie exclaimed desperately. You stared in disbelief as the words registered. There's no way he meant that, he was completely drunk. Since when did Royal Margarine Cookie have a crush on you?

"You've had way too much to drink..." You muttered.

"No!! It's true, Y/N Cookie! I've loved you from the beginning! I've been flirting with you for months, and you haven't noticed! Why haven't you noticed!?" Royal Margarine Cookie shouted. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and drool stained your pants as you desperately tried to control his drunken grip on you. You glanced behind you in embarrassment to see if anyone else was seeing this, but thankfully the street was deserted.

"Don't you remember those flowers I brought you? I went to a very frightening part of the Dragon's Valley to pick those rare flowers just for you! I wouldn't do that for anyone else, Y/N Cookie! I love you!" Royal Margarine confessed.

Suddenly, everything clicked in your brain. All the letters of admiration on freshly picked bouquets of flowers, the flood of compliments, him buying you dinner so many times... you had thought he was just being nice. At the realization, your face turned red.

"IS THAT WHY YOU WERE ALWAYS ACTING SO WEIRD?!" You exclaimed bashfully. Royal Margarine Cookie gasped and looked up at you with teary eyes.

"You did notice!" He cried in relief. Royal Margarine Cookie desperately climbed up your frame until he could stand. He threw himself on you, making you stumble back as his arms wrapped around your neck, and he kissed you passionately. You froze at first, surprised by his sudden gesture, but then you melted into his embrace. Your heart beat wildly in your chest as you returned his kiss with equal passion.

You broke away with a gasp, the taste of ale on your tongue.

"Y/N Cookie... please go out with me." Royal Margarine Cookie pleaded. Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt dizzy. You leaned against Royal Margarine Cookie and buried your face in his shoulder.

This could have happened a lot sooner if Royal Margarine had just been straightforward about his feelings from the beginning.

"Yes... I will." You replied shyly.

[p0orbaby]

Request😍: y/n and alessia or leah (you decide! find your tumblr side and aaalll the stories of them. It leads to jealous alessia/leah bc of y/n being with other girls (like getting jealous when your partner cheats in your dream). Reader has to handle the situation and in the end manages to make less/leah focus on all the fluffy/spicy stuff there is about them. If you want to make it smutty (what we all love hehe): they eventually get inspired by tumblr and choose another story (you can decide which of all the good alessia/leah x reader smut on here) to reenact. Thank you!!! (If you dont want to write this feel free to repost for another writer, also you can switch the roles who is jealous, i dont care:)

i amended this a little, pls don’t hate me

it would be harsh to call this a crack fic but i honestly giggled the whole time writing it 🤭

-

You find Alessia on the sofa, her face illuminated by the blue glow of her phone screen. At first, you think she’s watching one of those oddly specific TikToks she loves—something about cats playing table tennis or an American teenager ranking their favourite crisps. But then you notice the furrow in her brow, the way her teeth tug at her bottom lip. Her expression is equal parts confusion, disbelief, and mild offence.

“Everything alright?” you ask, setting your keys on the counter.

She doesn’t answer immediately, which is a bad sign. Alessia always greets you the moment you walk through the door, even if it’s just to ask what you’ve brought for dinner. Instead, she tilts the phone slightly so you can see the screen.

“Do you know about this?” she asks, voice clipped.

You lean over, squinting at the screen. The webpage is clunky, its layout straight out of 2012, and the title reads something absurd like ‘Sunlit Smiles and Shadowed Hearts’. Your name is prominently featured in the summary, alongside a few other recognisable ones.

“It’s fanfiction,” she says, answering the question you haven’t asked yet. “About you”

You blink. “About me?”

“And other people,” she adds, her tone sharp now, like the edge of a too-clean knife.

The penny drops. “Wait—what?”

She sits up straighter, turning the phone to face you fully. “Look. This one has you with… God, Tooney. And this one—oh, this is just brilliant—you’re married to Ona. Married! Like we’re just some passing fling”

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing, which, given her expression, would be a tactical error. Alessia doesn’t do jealousy often, but when she does, it’s like an overdramatic romcom villain plotting their revenge.

“Well,” you say carefully, “at least they’ve got good taste?”

“Good taste?” she repeats, incredulous. “One of these has you sneaking off with Mary behind my back during a post-match interview!”

“Creative, though,” you offer.

She glares at you, tossing the phone onto the cushion beside her. “This isn’t funny”

“It’s a little funny,” you say, sitting down next to her.

“It’s not,” she insists, crossing her arms. “Do you know how many of these there are? And how many don’t have me in them at all? Like I’m just some side character in your life?”

You try to suppress the grin tugging at your lips, but it’s no use. “Less, you do realise this is all made up, right? None of it’s real”

She huffs, her cheeks pink now. “I know that. But still. It’s insulting”

You reach for her hand, gently uncrossing her arms. “Alright, let’s look at it this way. I’m obviously very popular. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Not when you’re popular with everyone except me”

“Oh, come on,” you tease, squeezing her hand. “I’m pretty sure there’s stuff about us too. The fluffy, romantic, borderline inappropriate kind”

Alessia hesitates, her gaze flicking to the phone. “You think so?”

“I know so,” you say confidently. “Because we’re the superior couple. Clearly”

That earns a small smile, though she tries to hide it. “You’re an idiot”

“And yet, here I am, fully committed to proving my devotion,” you say, reaching for her phone. You type in a search, scrolling through pages until you find what you’re looking for. “See? Right here. This one’s about us”

She leans over, peering at the screen. Her eyes scan the words, and slowly, her frown starts to fade.

“This is… cute,” she admits reluctantly.

“Exactly,” you say, draping an arm around her shoulders. “So, no more being jealous of fictional versions of me, okay? They don’t get to go home with you. I do”

She turns to look at you, her expression softening further. “Fine. But I’m still not over the Mary thing”

You laugh, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Noted. I’ll make it up to you”

“You better,” she mumbles, but there’s no real bite to her words anymore.

It’s only later, as you’re cooking dinner together, that you catch her sneaking glances at her phone again, her lips twitching with the beginnings of a smile. If she’s reading more of those stories, you don’t mention it. Some battles are better left unpicked.

[loafysainz]

the parent trap (remake) | CS 55

cast: carlos sainz x fem!reader

warn: 100% fiction & remake

next chap

PART 16 BACK TO PAST MEMORIES

The afternoon had been a whirlwind—full of surprises, chaos, and more surprises. So, when Carlos and Matheo stepped out of the hotel lobby together, both dressed in formal attire, Carlos couldn't help but feel a little on edge. 

“Matheo…” Carlos tilted his head, tugging at the stiff collar of his shirt as he eyed his son. “There have been ‘way’ too many surprises today. Can you at least tell me where we’re going?” 

Matheo grin was as mischievous as ever. “I already told you, Dad—it’s a surprise.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes dramatically. “All right, I wish I am not about to get struck by lightning or something.” 

As they walked towards the entrance of the hotel, Carlos caught sight of Y/N, who was walking out with Mattia. Both were impeccably dressed, though Carlos’s gaze naturally lingered on the Y/N longer than he’d admit. 

The twins exchanged a knowing glance, the kind of secretive look that sent chills down a parent’s spine. Carlos sighed deeply. “This doesn’t feel like it’s going to end well.” 

Y/N approached him, smoothing down her dress. “Hey… any idea what the kids are up to?” 

Carlos shook his head. “No clue. Matheo won’t tell me a thing.” 

Y/N nodded “I see.”

The limo ride that followed was short, yet somehow stretched an eternity in awkward anticipation. Carlos couldn’t shake the feeling that he and Y/N were being set up. By the time they arrived at a port, the confusion on their faces was mutual. 

“Kids…” Carlos stared at the waterfront with raised eyebrows. “Is this where we’re eating?” 

Mattia smirked. “Nope!” 

Matheo pointed towards the dock, where a stunning yacht was illuminated against the evening sky. “That’s where we’re going to have dinner.” 

Carlos’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “The yacht? You’re joking.” 

But they weren’t joking. 

The group made their way onto the boat, Carlos firing questions as quickly as his brain could process what was happening. “Matheo, how exactly are we paying for this?” 

“We gave all our savings,” Matheo said, his tone suspiciously nonchalant. 

Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, sure, Theo. Try again.” 

“Well… I call Grandpa Sainz yesterday, he have helped a ‘little’ bit,” Matheo admitted sheepishly. 

“Matheo,” Carlos said, gave his son a pointed look. 

Matheo grinned up at him. “What? It helped a lot.” 

Mattia quickly interjected, tugging on Y/N’s dress. “Come on, Mom. You’re going to love this.” 

The families was ushered inside the yacht, where they stopped at an elegant door. Matheo turned to them with a grin so wide it practically screamed trouble. “Mrs. Y/LN, Mr. Sainz… your dinner is served.” 

The door swung open, revealing a beautifully set table in the middle of the room. Flowers and candles decorated the space, their soft glow reflected in the surrounding windows that overlooked the water. Y/N gasped quietly, clearly impressed by the romantic setup, while Carlos scanned the scene, his eyes narrowing. 

“Uh… kids? There are only two chairs,” he pointed out, gesturing at the table. 

Matheo’s face lit up. “Exactly! That’s part two of the surprise. We’re ‘not’ having dinner with you!” 

Y/N laughed nervously, trying to mask her growing unease. “Oh? And who will be joining us then?” 

Right on cue, Chessy appeared, stepping into the room in an immaculately with a chef form. “Good evening,” she announced, a sly smile playing on her lips. “My name is Chessy, and I’ll be your assistant tonight. Comments, questions, and complaints? Not accepted.” 

Behind her, Martin entered, holding a bottle of wine with an almost angelic smile. “And I, Martin, will be your sommelier this evening. Let’s hope you drink just enough to forget that these two troublemakers roped us into this.” 

Carlos blinked. “Wait. You’re the staff tonight?” 

Chessy shrugged, clearly unfazed by the question. “Mattia, music please.” 

Mattia darted to the corner of the room, hitting play on a small speaker. A soft, romantic ballad filled the space, the melody blending perfectly with the gentle rocking of the yacht. 

“Relax,” Mattia said, his voice brimming with excitement. “Sail through time!” 

“And enjoy the evening,” Matheo added with a dramatic wave of his hand. 

The twins turned to leave, practically skipping out of the room. Y/N and Carlos exchanged hesitant glances, neither daring to speak as the reality of the situation sank in. 

“Well,” Y/N said after a long pause, her voice barely above a whisper. “This is… weird.” 

Carlos groaned, slumping into one of the chairs. “Remind me to ground those two when this is over.” 

But as the soft music played and Martin poured the wine, Carlos couldn’t help but crack a smile. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Chessy watched as the children disappeared from sight, their laughter fading into the distance. She turned to her companions, her brow furrowed. “Have you seen the evil plan?” she asked, her tone suspicious but tinged with humor.

Y/N adjusted the black-colored scarf around her neck, the gesture betraying her nervousness. “Yes, yes,” she muttered, trying to gather her thoughts. “I’m starting to understand what’s happening.”

Carlos glanced around, his eyes landing on a lifebuoy decorated with a familiar name. A flicker of recognition crossed his face. “It’s just like when we first met,” he said softly, his voice carrying a hint of nostalgia. “The boat, the music...”

“The service,” Chessy added with a smirk.

Y/N, ever the romantic, took in the scene with sincere appreciation. “Everything is... very beautiful,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Carlos turned to Martin with a playful grin. “Martin, would you please accept a drink?” he asked, gesturing toward the bar.

Martin and chessy shared a knowing smile as they obediently took their drinks. Martin gave Chessy a subtle signal, and the two of them quietly slipped away, leaving Carlos and Y/N alone.

As the soft hum of the waves provided a serene backdrop, Carlos leaned against the balcony of the boat. He hesitated for a moment before confessing, “To be honest, I haven’t been on a boat since that time.”

Y/N joined him at the railing, their shoulders almost brushing. “Me neither,” she admitted, her voice tinged with vulnerability. He avoided Carlos’s gaze, focusing instead on the horizon. But Carlos wasn’t one to shy away. Raising his glass, he proposed, “Well, then, here’s to, uh…”

“Our son,” Y/N interjected quickly, finally meeting Carlos’s eyes.

The sincerity in her voice made Carlos pause, his own glass hovering mid-air. “Our son,” Carlos repeated, clinking his glass against Y/N’s. A small, almost imperceptible smile graced his lips, though it looked more like a grimace born of mixed emotions.

Their moment of connection was abruptly interrupted when Carlos caught sight of their children peeking through the small windows of the cabin doors. As soon as they realized they’d been discovered, the kids ducked out of sight with impressive speed.

Gathering his courage, Carlos turned to face her fully. “Y/N... if we can ever be completely alone, I’d like to talk about what happened between us. Because it ended so quickly.”

Y/N’s expression softened, though a flicker of hesitation lingered. “It started very fast,” she replied, her tone layered with meaning.

Carlos’s signature charming smile returned. “I remember that part very well,” he teased.

Y/N’s lips curved into a small smile, betraying her own memories of their whirlwind beginning.

Meanwhile, Chessy and Martin, who were spying discreetly from a corner, exchanged satisfied glances. “It seems like everything is going well,” Chessy commented, her tone light.

“I think the same,” Martin replied, his eyes still fixed on the couple.

She motioned toward the kitchen. “Come on, we have to serve the appetizers.”

Martin nodded, momentarily flustered by Chessy’s charm. “O-of course,” he stammered, following her.

Back at the table, Y/N and Carlos settled into their seats. Y/N broke the silence first. “So, tell me, Carlos. You’ve done very well in life, haven’t you?” she gestured to the wine bottle. “Your brand is on the rise every day.”

Carlos adjusted his napkin, his expression modest. “And you? I remember your notebooks full of amazing designs. Have you been able to pursue that?”

Y/N smiled, clearly touched that Carlos remembered. “Yes, that’s right. We both fulfilled our dreams, didn’t we?”

Chessy entered with two plates in hand, interrupting the moment. As she set the meals down, Y/N’s mind wandered back to their children. “What are we going to do with them?” she asked, her voice tinged with concern.

Carlos sighed, his fingers tapping against the table. “Well, the two of them have already met. It’ll be impossible to separate them now.”

Y/N pondered for a moment. “I could stay with them for half a year, and you for the other half,” she suggested tentatively.

Chessy, still lingering nearby, shook her head. “Hey... kids can’t go to different schools every year. It wouldn’t make sense.”

Carlos nodded in agreement. “You’re right.”

Y/N’s brow furrowed as she tried to come up with a solution. “Well, I could take them for a full year, and you the next?”

Chessy’s disapproval was evident. “Still not a great idea,” she said bluntly.

Carlos glanced at her, then back at Y/N. Realizing the tension, Chessy quickly excused herself. “Oh... sorry, I’m leaving.”

Y/N couldn't help but let a soft chuckle escape, amused by the small slip-up that had just happened. It was one of those moments that lightened the tension, if only briefly.

"Anyway," Carlos began, attempting to steer the conversation back on track, "that’s why we had our previous agreement."

Y/N raised a skeptical eyebrow, her expression equal parts curious and doubtful. "Really? I thought it was because... well, because we didn’t want to be together anymore."

Carlos shifted in his seat, biting his lip as though the memory still stung. "No," he admitted quietly, "it wasn’t both of us."

Y/N leaned back slightly, folding her arms in front of him. "Well," she said, her voice laced with a mix of reflection and mild defensiveness, "that part has gotten a little fuzzy over the years."

Carlos tilted his head, as if deciding how much to push. "Do you remember the day you packed your things?" he asked, his tone gentle but probing.

Y/N hesitated, her brow furrowing in thought. "Yes... but I don’t remember everything about it. I think I hurt you with something I did... that was..." She trailed off, struggling to grasp the specifics.

Carlos’ lips quirked into a bittersweet smile as he helped jog Y/N’ memory. "You threw a plant at me," he reminded her.

Y/N’ cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she let out a self-conscious laugh. "True," she admitted, rubbing her dress. The memory, though distant, still carried a pang of awkwardness.

Carlos leaned forward slightly, his voice softening as he tried to tread carefully. "Y/N, maybe we’ll never have the chance to truly be alone, but I’d really like to talk about what happened between us. Honestly."

Y/N’ gaze sharpened as she rested her chin on her folded hands, giving Carlos her full attention. There was a weight to the air between them, a vulnerability they’d both spent years avoiding.

"Why did you do it?" Carlos asked suddenly, his voice quieter but filled with curiosity and an edge of hurt.

Y/N took a deep breath, the words slow to form. "Ah... Carlos, we were young. We didn’t know what we were doing. We said stupid things. I packed everything, got on the first plane, and left." Her voice wavered slightly as she finally dared to meet Carlos’ eyes, her smile fragile. "And... you didn’t come after me."

Carlos froze, caught off guard by the directness of Y/N’ words. "I didn’t think you wanted me to follow you," he admitted after a pause, his voice tinged with regret.

Y/N wrinkled her nose slightly at the response, a bitter half-smile playing on her lips. "Well, that doesn’t matter anymore," she said, brushing off the lingering ache with practiced ease. "What matters now is figuring this out for our children."

Carlos sighed deeply, the tension between them palpable. "Yes," he agreed, though his voice lacked conviction. " for their sake, we need to figure this out." He broke eye contact, focusing instead on finishing his drink as though it could wash away the uncomfortable emotions.

Y/N noticed the subtle shift in Carlos’ demeanor, the way his shoulders tightened ever so slightly. To distract herself from the growing heaviness in the room, Y/N picked up her spoon and took a small sip of her soup. It was more out of habit than hunger, but it gave her something to do as the silence stretched on, thick and unyielding.

*****

Y/N and Carlos stood at the hotel’s front desk, sorting through their paperwork to finalize the check-out process. Both of them were an odd mix of calm efficiency and subtle tension, their movements synchronized from years of parenting together, yet their silence spoke volumes.

“Mrs. Y/LN, everything is ready,” Martin, her butler, announced, handing Y/N their neatly stacked passports.

Y/N gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you, Martin. Do you know if Mattia is ready?”

Martin nodded. “I just called him. He shouldn’t be long coming down.”

Satisfied, Y/N turned back to her half-packed suitcase. Without looking at Carlos, she spoke in a measured tone. “So... Mattia will spend Christmas with you.”

Carlos didn’t miss a beat. “And Matheo will spend Easter with you,” he replied smoothly.

Their eyes met briefly, each weighing unspoken words that hovered between them. But before either could say anything more, the soft chime of the elevator broke the moment. Turning toward the sound, they saw their twin sons step out. Y/N and Carlos instantly froze—the boys were dressed identically in pink shirts.

“Mattia, what are you doing dressed like that?” Y/N asked, her voice tinged with confusion and mild annoyance. “We’re leaving for London. You need to change.”

One of the twins crossed his arms, a smug smile playing on his face. “Here’s the thing, Mom. We’ve been talking, and we think we’re being fooled.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Fooled? By who?”

The other twin stepped forward, matching his brother’s stance. “By you and mom. You promised us summer camp. We want to go… together.”

Y/N exchanged a baffled glance with Carlos. “What camp?” Carlos finally asked.

“The one we always go to before school starts,” the first twin clarified, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Y/N took a deep breath, her patience already wearing thin. “Mattia, this is ridiculous. Go upstairs and change. We’re leaving.”

“Are you sure I’m Mattia?” the boy countered, tilting his head innocently.

Y/N shot him a sharp look. “Of course, I’m sure.”

The other twin piped up, a mischievous glint in his eye. “But it’s hard to be 100% sure, isn’t it?”

Both boys grinned, clearly enjoying the chaos they were causing.

Carlos pinched the bridge of his nose. “Kids, this isn’t funny. You’re going to make your mom miss her plane.”

Y/N’s frustration bubbled over. “Mattia!” she snapped.

“Yes?” both boys answered in perfect unison.

Carlos squatted slightly to their eye level, seeing them carefully. After a moment, he pointed to the boy on his right. “You’re Matheo. I’m not mistaken.”

The boy smirked. “Are you sure, Dad? Because it wouldn’t be a good idea to send the wrong child to London again.”

Carlos hesitated, his confidence faltering. He stepped back with a resigned sigh. Y/N threw him an exasperated look, silently pleading for backup, but Carlos simply shrugged, powerless against their twins’ well-executed plan.

“Alright, I have a proposal,” one of the twins declared, stepping forward as if he were brokering a business deal. “Let’s go to Dad’s house, pack everything, and the four of us will go camping together.”

Y/N blinked, completely thrown off. “The four of us?”

“Exactly,” the other twin chimed in. “And when we get back, we’ll tell you who’s Mattia and who’s Matheo.”

Y/N crossed her arms, his patience hanging by a thread. “You’ll do as you’re told. One of you is coming back to London with me, whether you like it or not.” Her voice warned them in an angry mother tone, but the twins were unfazed.

Both boys grinned again, clearly enjoying the chaos they had unleashed. Y/N turned to Carlos, desperate. “You’re their dad! Do something!”

Carlos scratched the back of his neck, suppressing a laugh. “To be fair, this is kind of genius.”

Y/N groaned. “Not helping.”

prev chap

[lady-buggerinton]

My Top Five Polin Scenes in Part One (and why!)

My darling gossipers, so far this show is making literally all of my hopeless romantic dreams for this couple come true and who knows what kind of angst and drama were in for in part two, so before things gets too real I just wanted to go into (too much) depth on my favorite scenes and a few swoon-worthy details from part one! *whips reigns on carriage* shall we?

5. Drawing Room Lesson/Journal

Pen's brain: TOUCH ALERT! HIS HAND IS ON MY BACK.

This scene is so best friend coded with the way they are bantering and flirting the whole time. There's an adorable contrast between Penelope's fear of being discovered and Colin being like it's chill!(when in fact it is not Chill because they get interrupted after 5 minutes of gazing into each others eyes)

He just clearly wanted to be completely alone and behind closed doors platonically with his very beautiful friend (who looks like an angel in this scene) to pretend they are courting. Nothing suspicious about that!

I love how he's so into the lesson to the point that he has set out the lemonade as a prop and brought her to Bridgerton house in the first place specifically because she said it was where she was most comfortable (previously, but he's doing his best, and probably hoping she will become comfortable again, ouch)

Colin being the "dashing suitor" for her to flirt with (loser) and when she's resistant to fake flirting with him he hits her with the, "you don't have to be embarrassed, you know me!" trying to put her at ease. And he succeeds! Penelope is so comfortable during this scene when she's opening up about how it's hard for her to get her personality across, it's so sweet and honest.

And this is when the ROMANCING really starts, I love how it's Penelope who takes the lead here. mostly by accident, but the poor man is still left in shambles.

I do kind of wish for this scene they had gone with a more back and forth flirting moment, and seen them both get a little taste of how overtly flirting with each other would feel rather than her little poetic moment, but it was sweet to see her expose a corner of her feelings for him and watching him get a tad flustered at the compliment.

Ok, while it was rather uncool of her to read his journal, I love this part so much. Because I am no better, I would 100 percent do this given the chance. Her examining the space where he spends time, her running her hand over his pirate coat, (who wouldn't) the quiet yearning of that action. As a snoop myself, this was wish fulfillment.

Penelope being hit with a confusing mix of jealousy and intrigue by the contents of the journal entry, the way she stops reading for just a second and then gives in and devours his writing, not being able to hold back from getting inside his head. Don't think about how she probably missed his letters.

Colin's anger here is warranted, and I liked how he didn't come across as aggro-angry Colin from the books but is still justifiably upset that his privacy has been violated. He is likely aware that there are certain DETAILS he wouldn't want her to be reading, like how he's a lonely lonely sad little man trying to be rakish and roguish because his beautiful platonic friend isn't writing him back and encouraging him like she usually does.

Can I just mention that bandaging a wound is an excellent trope and it's such a good romancing vehicle: the care, the tenderness, the touching! the GRUMPINESS! But my favorite thing about the wound bandaging is his reaction to her complimenting his work, of which he hasn't shown ANYONE. He's just so shocked that she likes it, and clearly starved for her encouragement/anyone to be interested in his travels.

I think its also worth noting that this is THE moment that Colin thinks back to when he's considering activating his chaos tendencies by rolling up to the red ball to interrupt her proposal, so I'm gonna interpret that as him recalling his first realization/admittance to himself that he has feelings for her beyond friendship.

It wouldn't surprise me since it is after this moment that we see the hints of jealousy start to manifest at the full moon ball (looking for her, asking her if she likes a suitor, he's not subtle with it). Can't blame him, he was just touched with intimacy and care, and told his creative outlet is well-written, he is being ROMANCED to the max and he can't handle it.

We also have our first "please" as Pen asks to help, and as we will see, these two can't say no to each other once the magic word is spoken! I hope this theme makes a comeback in part two (please please please)

4. Market Scene

ok, besides a semi-silly looking wig on Colin (reshoots) this scene is first of all, so beautiful.

SHE IS SO FINE IN THIS SCENE I CAN'T EVEN THINK. She looks like a preraphaelite painting and I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

I literally kept saying "wow" out loud. It actually makes the scene very silly to me because she keeps talking about how she'll never snag a husband and I'm over here on one knee begging for a chance.

If Penelope has been Colin's cheerleader and #1 supporter for their whole friendship, this is where that flips. This scene is all about Pen feeling dejected about her prospects and Colin trying to lift her spirits -basically by saying she doesn't need to work on anything because he already likes her so much without her doing anything but I digress!

There is nothing hotter than your crush talking about a shared memory! Literally nothing! You can see her absolutely light up here when he talks about their first meeting like "I can't believe he remembered" and "Shit, I'm trying to not be in love" and it makes me ache for her.

I am very sad we didn't get a meet cute flashback (hello romcom!!) but this was the next best thing. He's also definitely still in Rake Mode with the way he is being charming and flirty, but there is a core of genuine feeling here as he is trying to get her find her confidence and be more like the non-self conscious children they once were. I believe a lot of the rift between them was directly because she had such strong feelings for him and couldn't just connect with him as friends due to the pedestal she put him on, this scene shows that without that as a barrier, they are able to connect much more naturally.

"Living for the estimation of others is a trap, once you break free the world opens up," he says, and he's starting to realize this idea but hasn't quite put it into practice. I think seeing Penelope struggling to be something she's not, just like he is, shows him how it's not working for either of them. This I think kickstarts his self-reflection and eventual rejection of external pressures later on, leaving him open to pursue other passions.

Ok but what I LOVE most in this scene is his subtle digging for information about her that she isn't forthcoming with. He asks her why she wants a husband and where she feels most comfortable, peppering her with questions and also giving her zero personal space. He's very curious about her and what is going on inside, but she's not exactly open with him at this point, giving short and simple answers.

She's genuinely not used to someone asking her this many questions about herself, receiving this kind of devoted attention, and she clearly doesn't know quite how to respond. In fact, the dynamic has always been reversed, where she was encouraging and inquiring about him, so this switch is just excellent. there have been little moments throughout the series where he asks about her and she always seems to deflect to talking more about him, so it's nice to see this shift.

Also fun detail, the grecian statues behind them are a little nod to the eros and psyche vibes of the scene as cupid is trying to find a match for his psyche, but is slowly beginning to fall for her, his curiosity the first step towards total downfall.

When he asks about Eloise is where Pen just completely shuts down and says she has to leave, and the "before we are noticed" with the little smile? I have fallen in love. She's clearly using that as an excuse to dodge the question, and it is almost an inside joke, sadly. As if she's saying "No one would believe you are courting me anyway haha". And yet he's clearly bummed she's leaving, he was having such a good time, and she leaves him hanging, wanting to know more. I also absolutely love the Rae side eye, lethal!

3. Candy Tent

Post-kiss insanity is on full display here. The way she beckons him with a sexy head tilt and he came running, the way his hands give away his nervousness and his eyes keep locking on her helplessly. Just FULL ON crush mode. The soft "How are you?" he missed her!

Also outfits are incredible here, the pearls in the hair, the painted vest, Colin inventing the color brown, it's a rococo dream. The plushy pink of the tent, the ambiance, everything is just in a word: sumptuous? never used that but it feels right here.

Pen's giddiness here is just adorable, she's experiencing blatant interest for the first time and I couldn't be happier for her. But someone else is very peeved, indeed. He's trying to play the part of supportive friend while also just kind of feeling a lot of "confounding feelings"

The way he is trying to be so casual and attempting to keep up his swagger, but his true feelings are showing through BAD kind of harkens back to how Pen would interact with Colin in s1 and 2, with barely contained affection and hope. The script has been FLIPPED and it feels so good!!

I literally squeal every time he asks her if she's formed an attachment to Debling, this is the shit I signed up for!! Her saying Debling is not "unpleasant to gaze upon" and watching Colin just completely glitch out with jealousy. He's like AND WHAT ABOUT ME! Must be frustrating to be the most eligible bachelor of the season, and yet your very beautiful crush friend is complementing another man on his looks. When your crush expresses interest in someone it can be truly insanity inducing, so I feel for him here.

Pen is oblivious completely, she doesn't think any of what she is saying is negatively affecting him, in fact she thinks this news will make him happy! His lessons worked, she didn't care about being perceived and it is having the desired affect! and yet, he's miserable. Mission accomplished unsuccessfully if you will.

He does ALMOST a good job of hiding his feelings, but if Pen were not completely convinced he couldn't have feelings for her, I think she would've picked up on the vibes here. He's way less enthusiastic about the lessons, and is giving fairly curt responses, when before he was yapping on about being yourself and such.

Then of course the blatant staring at her mouth, being the yearning sort of man he is and likely recalling their kiss in detail, reminder it's been at least a week since. She's romancing him without even trying. It also makes sense for "food motivated" Colin to have Penelope + cake equals critical override of his facial expressions and his literally standing there slack-jawed with lust.

His soft "good luck", when she leaves and the fact that he doesn't mean it AT ALL.

I've seen it talked about, but it makes a lot of sense that Penelope wasn't as affected by the kiss as he was. I'm sure she enjoyed it, but for her the kiss was an end (more on that later) and for him it was the moment he admitted his feelings (which were already growing slowly). so it makes sense the yearning is very colin-sided in this scene.

Apart from the yearning, it's also just sweet to see them in cahoots and discussing this development with Debling like its a little group project, and its the perfect scene to show Down Bad Colin, and I love it. She also clearly wants him to share with her in her success, still wanting to be close to him in any way she can, which if I think about too much I'll cry.

Bonus points for him eating the cake later on, such an intimate detail, he just wants to be close to her in any way he can. CRIMINAL! ARREST HIM!

2. First kiss/Dream Sequence

Ok I'm combining these scenes because they happen back to back and sort of like a mirror of each other, sue me. This first kiss scene is, as Whistledown says, RECKLESS. It's nonsensical, it's desperate, and it's beautiful.

This scene has only improved upon rewatches, it really has everything. Best kiss scene on Bridgerton and possibly in anything ever? no doubt no doubt?

The silly back and forth on the "You're not going to die" and the way she doesn't back down when he seems to get embarrassed, but instead says what? The Magic Word! "Please" she says, which of course is both of their activation word. His expressions here definitely mirror the book, where as soon as she asks him to kiss her, he's a bit taken aback by how much he realizes he wants to already.

This is such a low moment for Penelope, and it's one parts embarrassing and two parts brave of her to ask him to kiss her. In her position, she doesn't even have her pride left, so why not ask the boy you love to kiss you? nothing will come of it anyway, and he probably won't even do it, so why not ask? And what are friends for!

then the moment comes, and the music swells, as does the tension as he closes the distance between them, her shocked face and shallow breaths as she realizes its actually going to happen, the way he lifts her face to his with his hand under her chin. It's just pure romance. and this thing between them, this space that has never been crossed, is being crossed, and it feels insane. reckless. intimate!!

What I love is the shot that focuses on his face after they deepen the kiss, he's intent and confused by how good this feels, how little like kindness this is for him as soon as their lips touch. Like we will see later, he just kind of mind-blanks and forgets what is happening.

Whatever he thought they were has just crumbled with this kiss, and he leans his forehead against hers, no awkwardness when there is such tenderness. which is why he's so shook when she whispers "thank you", and rushes off. he's like "wait why is she thanking me? where am I? weren't we doing something here?" The hopeful strings as it focuses on his dumbstruck face, the earth literally shifting under his feet in that moment. UNREAL.

THE DREAM: I won't say a lot about the dream sequence but I just had to throw it in here because it shows how aligned they are romantically. They are both HUGE romantics, and he has orchestrated this sort of do-over kiss where he's really going for it and proving to her that he wants this too, he wants her. And she's enjoying herself, clearly, which we know is something Colin wants more than anything. It's a great way to show his inner feelings with the lack of an inner monologue that a book brings. And this is clearly a sort of parody of Bridgerton itself, or at least the books. It's over the top, a little silly, and exactly what we all want to see.

This dream also isn't just ripping off clothes, it's emotional, a key element is him expressing how he's been thinking about her, consumed by her. This kiss also isn't as innocent and patient as the first kiss, and it's full of Reciprocation, she can't stop thinking about him either. AND NEITHER CAN I!!!

Both of these kiss scenes also set up our contrasting feelings, where Pen views their first kiss as an end of a dream, a bittersweet act to finally let go off him, the dream of him. And then his dream shows the opposite, how she's ignited something in him that begins his dream of her, awake and asleep. Dream-swap! Also the hand on the wall behind her to catch her from hitting the wall. no comment.

1. Carriage Scene

Yeah like what can I say! It's incredible! I honestly have no idea how they can top this scene, but honestly if this is the best love scene they share in the season I am 10000% content. All of my little qualms with how they did the season melt away when I watch this scene because this was what was crucial to nail and they NAILED IT. TO THE WALL BABY. YAY.

And how did he gain access to the carriage (and Penelope)?? by saying please!! we love the magic word!! I do like the confession a lot, especially the "what if I did have feelings for you?" and the way he gets to his KNEES, a truly inspired moment.

How he completely dies inside when she says they are friends, and still accepts it with grace. There were SO many obstacles to him expressing his feelings to her this night, and he just red rovered each one, and we are all very grateful.

Something about this scene is just built different, I like a lot of the love scenes in the show, but this one has some kind of secret ingredient that we didn't know we'd been missing. Maybe its the location, the context, the way they are just grasping at each other desperately (which if you think about how Penelope thought this was a one time thing in the books and she wanted to make the most of it, actually don't think about that)

He's also just so sweet about it, he's not angry, or insistent, he's just honest and intent. and she's just bewildered and INTO IT.

The lightning is gorgeous, the way it looks like Penelope is catching on fire and glowing. the catharsis, the giving into passion. The way she smiles like her dreams are coming true (because they are) before he just completely attacks her. What else can I say but EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

so many of the kisses are so tender and gentle, and they just build and build and build in intensity as they get lost in each other.

on a more horny note, so many moments here actually make me physically roll my eyes back in my head with how insane they make me. The desperate boob grab, the consensual nod, the way his hand slips under her dress, they were truly so insane for this. something tells me they knew I've waited literal years for this, so they knew they had to make it good.

Someone said Nicola should get an Emmy nom for moans, and she should, somehow they don't come across as cartoonish at all, and it doesn't take me out of the scene like some "noise making" does in these types of scenes. and for the record I'm not jealous at all, of either of them. in fact, no sooner did my head hit the pillow that I was met with complete and total darkness....not even a dream....

Like everything I could say has already been said, but it was so much better than I thought it was going to be, blew my expectations out of the water and DELIVERED. and DEVOURED. and RUINED ME. AND I AM VERY GRATEFUL.

Anyway that's all, I'm very afraid for part two so I needed some escapism, why am I already nostalgic for the good ol' times when Polin was happy for 6 minutes. thanks for reading! <3

[lilacstro]

★this might be the night that my dreams might let me know, all the stars are closer"★. pac: what to expect next in life

hey guys! long time no see! I wanted to post this pac on new years but I just....didn't.

anyways, I hope you enjoy this one. drop suggestions in the ask box!

PS: I saw 9 of cups in all of the piles, and this tells me maybe all the collective together is going to have a wish fulfillment soon! that's so sweet haha

support me on ko-fi

Paid readings open

₊˚ʚ Pile 1 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: some of you here might be quitting something. There is a "bid adieu" kind of energy here. There also seems to be a throat chakra blockage, maybe you are unable to speak, maybe due to throat issues, cold, flu or even could be engaging in frequent arguments. An advice for you regardless is taking time to think before you speak. Some of you here might also be having trauma resurface. There could be trust/confidence issues as well. Some of you here might also be going through third eye activation. There may also be trouble in engaging things you want to, making time and space for things. You may be having nightmares or such kind of thoughts stemming from past, your family lineage or even trauma.

what's next: for some of you here, who were leaving something, or someone behind, good call, it is the right thing to do. I am hearing "everything that has ever been lost will always be replaced by something better". There would be a lot of options making themselves available to you. You have divine luck, divine protection. One more thing that is coming through is that a fake relationship would fall off, especially if it is with a women. Some of you may also have a change of personality, going from a "I'm a boss bitch" types to going into more serene energy, more calm and collected. Mind you, I do not mean to say there's anything wrong with either :) For those of you who want it, there are options in love coming through as well. For some of you, you may as well have many options in love, think clearly though because one of them may end up being your true love. There would be a lot of emotional healing coming through. For those of you who have been "used" to feeling numb, your heart would open again, just use your thinking and think clearly, please. One of your heartfelt wishes, one you had a lot of attachment to may be coming true as well. It is also possible to hear an apology from someone, especially if they are a water sign.

₊˚ʚ Pile 2 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: while shuffling these cards I had a feeling of "money" being important to this group. Either you gained money, lost it, are investing it or maybe you are planning to make a significant purchase. Pile 3 maybe important as well. Some of you may also be in a mental hole. Feeling trapped or burdened by something. Someone here could have also gone through a hardship in romantic connection, a heartbreak or could have seen the options they anticipated not work out, making a wrong choice. Some of you here might also be struggling with making changes in your day to day life, which can be as big as moving countries or as small as working out everyday. Holding on to ideas, people, memories or routines you know you should let go of.

what's next: I see a wonderful opportunity for financial gains presenting itself to you. You may be afraid or nervous to take it, but go after it, Pile 2. Do not get confused though. Apart from this you may also see new bonds being strengthening with friends and people you meet, more confidence and charisma. You'd appear attractive and reliable, and if you are someone who is anxious socially or likes being alone, you would come out of the shell and enjoy life, enjoy people. For people who are going through a breakup, especially, getting over this person may be the best thing to do. It may take a while, but there is wonderful things awaiting you. If you can subscribe to this description of this person being extremely manipulative with their words, it's even more of a confirmation. For others of you, do not sabotage things coming to you. If its love, luck, money, travel. A wish is about to come true but maybe not exactly how you thought it would. For example, money may come in form of an idea, meeting someone important may come in form of having this feeling of going to that place or saying hi to that person etc. So do not sabotage your blessings by being in a warzone mentally always :)

₊˚ʚ Pile 3 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: Some of you here may be working out a lot. Listening to motivational music. Some of you might also be growing more towards calmer things and ideas, maybe yoga, spiritual retreats in mountains etc. I get why there was a connection between pile 2 and 3, because yet again there seems to be a feeling of being deceived in love, or feeling as if the wish came true but it was a façade. Some of you might also have received a promotion at work, or may have been taking too much workload, maybe even creating an imbalance. There could be arguments on this. Some of you may have "severed ties" with something, maybe a habit, an idea, or a person, but regardless it seems for the best. Birds may be important. I would say watch out for people who try to appear "way too sweet" and try to get under your skin the meanwhile. There could have been a connection which was off balance, especially the masculine energy which could've led to the spiritual awakening of the feminine energy.

what's next: There seems to be a LOT of things that seem to be coming for you pile 3. Before I type next, I heard "revolution starts within", makes sense since I am seeing a lot of reversals in your reading. You need to step out of your mind and body for a while, or atleast strike a balance to be able to experience the real world. "You are not running out of time" is one another message I heard. You will find your spark again, very very soon. Being full of energy, exciting things in life, that once felt dull and lifeless. A period of stagnation is ending. You would be given a way to live this exciting time, but you have to act on it yourself. "Do not be afraid of judgement or being cringey" Maybe you wanted to start a venture, an account, YouTube, do it! Because there is indeed some change coming into your career and financial situation which is divine. A wish is about to come true. Do not "force" change or your energy levels on yourself, let it take time. There is a lot of healing happening for you, especially if you were hurt by someone or something in the past. Things are about to get soo good. Spring after a winter.

[ngage2003]

I would be absolutely thrilled to hear your highschool Jaylex headcanons

SMILES. Ok.

⟦content warning: unhealthy relationships, abusive childhoods, generally two traumatized people behaving badly and like real people, headcanons and some analysis.⟧

As mentioned in this post, I think Alex and Jay are to some extent codependent, with bad habits developed between the both of them due to growing up in the south and being not typical/"weirdos".

I think this based off of just how easily they fell into an unhealthy dynamic in Season 2 of Marble Hornets where I believe Alex plays to what he knows about Jay to manipulate him. (Using his curiosity against him and leading him in circles.)

Jay isn't innocent either though! Really, both these characters are defined by their selfishness, which get exacerbated by the Operator. Alex has a need for control and power, and Jay has a deadly curiosity and passivity/apathy to others in the face of it.

I think Alex's need for control and power comes from his toxic relationship to masculinity, (talked about a bit here,) and a desire to fit in despite being unable to, exacerbated by his home life. I think its very likely his father instilled these beliefs in him by himself being someone who upheld toxic masculinity and make fun of perceived femininity in his son, a sort of abusive "tough love" approach that left Alex hurt and angry and hating himself and his dad.

I think strangely the reason Alex and Jay first connected is because Jay's closed off nature, apathy and his autistic tendencies left him appearing to just not care about masculinity and fitting in, despite being male, a fact which pissed Alex off to no end because it sort of broke his brain. ("Men are naturally good at being masculine and in control and powerful, and I'm not so I am a failure" is a belief instilled in him by his dad, but here is Jay, this apathy filled fly on the wall.)

I think they originally became friends because Alex wanted someone to punch at metaphorically and push around, and Jay easily complied to that, fascinated by Alex's attention on him and his general bristly demeanor which was so opposite to his gilded cage life. (For more on that check out my nepo baby jay post)

I think as time progressed, Alex's anger towards Jay gradually faded a bit, but he always held some sort of residual resentment for how unbothered he seemed with fully conforming to masculinity. Jay to him is as much of a symbol as he is a person, a tick that stubbornly persists in the flesh and ruins Alex's attempts to make sense of things.

That is not to say Jay is feminine necessarily or actively avoiding masculinity, but he is just apathetic and not too preoccupied with being masculine. Along with this, I think he is caring to Alex, especially in highschool, a fact which upsets and confuses the other because "men don't act like that to each other."

I can so clearly see Alex in highschool getting in fights, and then Jay helping patch him up, or buying him something in an attempt to make him feel better because that is just the behavior he has been taught, and Alex briefly thinks about driving his knuckles into Jay's stupid face as he applies an antibiotic to his split knuckles.

I think Jay understands that the grass is not greener for Alex to some extent, but Alex envies him so hard sometimes.

The furniture in Jay's house gets replaced every few months, there is nothing concrete to hold onto and savor there besides this toxic pristine smell of freshness. Meanwhile everything in Alex's house is the same as when he was a young kid, with all the residue of bad memories that come with that, molding under seat cushions and catching in the dusty corners of rooms.

Alex's home is painfully lived in, and Jay's is painfully empty.

I don't think they're ever together romantically, but I think Jay has a brief crush on Alex in highschool because Alex is kind of the only concrete thing in his life. Alex has a crush on him (that he denies) in turn because Jay is the only good thing in his.

They make out on Alex's couch when his parents aren't home, desecrating over a decade of memories with a needy, unsure passion only really held by teenagers and infidels.

Alex is so shocked with himself afterward that he stays in bed all weekend and refuses to ever sit on the couch again, like the memory of what happened there will somehow rub off on him. (Like it will tempt him.)

I don't think Jay ever mentions it again, seeing as Alex ignored him all that weekend, (despite him trying to call because he really wanted to ask Alex about all that, and maybe invite him over to make out again.) But if Alex doesn't want to talk about it, they won't. If he wants Jay to pretend it never happened, he will. Alex leads them after all, and Jay will always follow in his footsteps, always eager to be at his side, no matter how much or little Alex Kralie is left.

I think it is worth noting that, despite coming from different backgrounds, Jay and Alex both go down at the hands of the Operator. Tim and Alex practically come from the same story but they come out the other side as two opposites, while Jay and Alex they both die in the same building.

I think there is some meaning there, with how Alex and Jay are so entangled.

Alex can't kill him for so long, and Jay keeps looking for him always.

I don't know, I think about them a lot.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Hi, can I request you the same for BTS also?

https://www.tumblr.com/lullabyalikpoptarot/770214743764025344?source=share

The question is. Will they love their Future Spouse?

Seokjin (9 of Cups/6 of Swords/The Hermit) I see a wish coming true for him and being fulfilled at first and I see love there, but then he moves to the Hermit energy of wanting to be alone and kind of try to discover himself. I can also see a lot of traveling where he will have to be alone. He could be happy, but he may need to work on some mental baggage he has.

Suga (The Magician/King of Swords/Page of Swords) I did hear yes in my head, but none of these cards indicate love, but I also did get the Queen of Cups and that indicates loving energy, but he will be someone who communicates a lot to his partner and expresses his opinion very clearly, so that is good. It is interesting to see him go from the King to the Page, so from maturity to immaturity, or he realizes he doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does as the Marriage progresses.

RM (4 of Wands/8 of Cups/Death) He seems happy at first, a lot of fun and good energy, but it kind of dies off, hmm not sure it will end well. I see distant and needing change here, not seeing love here though.

J-Hope (8 of Wands/3 of Pentacles/2 of Pentacles) Hobi what is going on here. I see a lot of Pentacles here lol I am not seeing love, which surprises me. It seems more practical to me. And once again, I see things moving quickly with him. It seems marriage is more practical than love from what I see here. 

Jimin (Ace of Swords/4 of Pentacles/7 of Wands) Umm no, it seems it will be a challenge. This marriage can also be about money and finances I am seeing. It is like it is an idea to save his assets or something like that. 

V (The Hierophant/The Star/4 of Cups) No, not seeing it here. Why do I feel the company may arrange this or he may have a traditional marriage. I see him pouring a lot of his love to others or his stardom to kind of put any love to his spouse. This marriage could be arranged with the Hierophant card there. Not sure he will be emotionally invested in who he marries. I hope this energy shift and I am wrong, some of these seem sad.

Jungkook (10 of Pentacles/Temperance/10 of Swords) No Jungkook, I was hoping our romantic in the group would find love, although this isn’t set in stone and no facts. I see a compromise here with this temperance card. I see something about money and investing in the future, but also mental anguish and sadness, just a lot of heavy thoughts with him about his spouse. His energy was a bit confusing to me, so I asked for another card and got the King of Cups, so I see love there, but with him I feel he worries if someone will love him for him or the money. I feel he is a loving person, but I don’t feel this energy towards his spouse. His energy towards his fs is a bit unstable for me, not as clear cut as the others.

[nautilusgays]

Amnesia AU drabble:

Somehow Nemo hits his head badly, maybe during ramming something or fixing the blade and it restarted unexpectedly.

Obviously, Aronnax is called out of his room by a crewman to an unconscious Nemo with a scary injury. He is so focused on stemming the bleeding and assessing the damage that he doesn't register how at least three crewmen have been speaking to him in fluent French the entire time until hours later. A problem for Future Pierre he mutters.

Nemo spends days slowly coming in and out of consciousness. Every time he wakes Pierre is there, he's taken to sleeping with the connecting door open or on a chair, to feed him and tend to his wounds.

There is only one issue, which Nemo is refusing to mention - lest it make him seem unfit for duty: he has no idea who Aronnax is.

Everyone else he knows, but not this kind, gentle man who has been caring for him, who's presence makes him feel warm and full. Trying to puzzle together context clues Nemo comes to a conclusion that surprises him:

Aronnax must be his romantic partner.

He didn't think he'd be in love again, but this man had everything he looked for and liked in a partner, and was clearly comfortable with physical contact between them, not to mention he was interacting in a friendly manner with the members of crew that had come to help him.

Once he reached the conclusion he begins to behave as a romantic partner.

The first time he calls Pierre "mon chéri" the man goes bright red and seems to swoon - Nemo is delighted at the cute reaction and it reinforces his assumption.

Nemo is confused why Pierre always turns his head when he moves to kiss him, so he only catches his cheek. The Professor talks of concussion and recovery. To Nemo those are not good enough reason to not get a kiss from his beloved but clearly his man is a doctor and will not be swayed. This only convinces him even more: his wife, after all, had also been extremely smart and stubborn.

He calls him "mon chéri" in front of some of the crew, some of whom speak French, who are shook. Nemo assumes that, for some reason, he has been hiding their relationship - perhapse that is why Pierre seems so hesitant - and resolves to be more confident in showing him he's not ashamed in anyway.

Pierre is spending half his life tending to Nemo and the other half being incredibly flustered and confused by Nemo's behaviour. Hes worried about the extent of the brain injury, somehow Nemo has injured himself so badly he thinks he's in love with him! He talks to the crew, well at least those who know French or Latin, they just laugh and give cryptic responses or mutter 'finally' while walking away.

Nemo has now been freed from bed rest and he is being an unintentional menace to Pierre who's poor heart can't take it anymore. Having unrequited affections for the Captain had been bad enough, but being in love with a man who's injury was making him act romantically was even worse. Many nights Pierre would cry himself to sleep over the unfairness and pain this was causing him.

One day, Nemo finally manages to initiate a deeper kiss. At first Pierre kisses back, losing himself in something he wanted for so long, Nemo is relieved and kisses him deeper but then he finds himself an arms length from his partner, who is crying with kiss swollen lips.

"Captain, I have put up with this for too long. Your crew said I should be gentle with this news, but I, as your doctor, believe you are now well enough to hear this without it causing any complications to your injury: I am not your lover or partner or what ever you have convinced yourself I am. My complacency in allowing this continue for your health has brought me great pain. I hold deep affection for you but before your injury you were never interested and I accepted that. But this is too much. I know you are not hurting me intentionally but it is tearing me apart."

Nemo stands there. He doesn't realise he's crying till he feels a drop on his hand.

He asks his first mate for clarification. The man corroborates Pierre's Aronnax's story. When Nemo says he felt happy and warm when he looked at Pierre even before he knew who he was, his first mate looks at him kindly, "the professor was wrong about it being unrequited, but you always could put on a good mask when necessary."

Only a few hours after Pierre had returned to his cabin, locking both doors, there was a strong knock, 'please, Pierre, I know now.' he doesn't move from his position under the blankets. Nemo tries the handle, locked. He tries the one from his room, locked. Pierre thinks Nemo finally got the message when the door unlocks. Of course he had a second key.

As Nemo spills his heart to Aronnax more and more memories resurface and everything begins to click into place for him. The Professor notices as Nemo remembers, properly, who he is. Bracing himself for a rejection, perhapse even anger, he waits for Nemo to come to his conclusion.

"I have been in love with you for a while, but I was terrified."

As their eyes meet Aronnax barely has time to whisper, "for me, since we met." Before Nemo closes the gap between their lips.

Finally, everything was how it was supposed to be.

[emilyofthegreenwood]

"Not For the Faint of Heart" by Lex Croucher

Bloomsbury Publishing, 2024 || Read and reviewed in August 2024

Lex Croucher’s “Not For the Faint of Heart” is another book for the short, but growing list of sapphic Robin Hood novels. It’s interesting that this is the first entry where our main queer characters are not Robin and Marian themselves, but original characters who interact and exist within the Robin Hood universe, which makes it somewhat easier to explore the Robin Hood story setting without worrying as much about centuries of lore. The author describes this as a “historical fantasy romcom”, which is exactly how I’d describe it.

This book follows Mariel (Robin Hood’s granddaughter) and a healer named Clem who gets swept along in an adventure with the current iteration of the Merry Men. Robin is retired and gone from Sherwood, and leadership has fallen to his son-in-law who runs the outlaws more like a militia, focused on violently protecting their territory rather than helping the local community. In this confusing era of Sherwood Forest outlaws, Mariel, Clem, and their small company of quick-witted, queer outlaws slowly shifts the mission and priorities back to its roots. And they're all hilarious, too.

For any reader who wants to go on an adventure with a queer found family through Sherwood Forest, cracking (knowingly anachronistic) jokes and counting squirrels, this is the book to read! For sure! I had a great reading experience most of the time, despite some personal issues that I had with it. 

Coming into any Robin Hood book, I come fully equipped and over-informed, along with my deeply personal preconceived ideas. With books like “Not For the Faint of Heart”, I knew that it was important to set as many of those aside as I could and enjoy it for what it is intended to be. In this case, a queer adventure romcom. 

And I did enjoy it! But I have some qualms, too. It won’t affect the reading experience for the majority of people, but I found it disappointing that Marian was given such short shrift, with only a few one-off lines to let readers know that she existed. For a character who has an origin story of cross-dressing, running to the forest, and getting into sword fights, she seems well-suited to be more involved than she was in a sapphic Robin Hood novel.* (See below the “read more” for a spoiler related to this comment.) 

Although I was cruelly deprived of seeing Marian as a grandma, Robin as a grandpa was the sweetest thing, and I have no complaints. My favorite thing about this book is undeniably grandpa Robin, who does have an impact on his granddaughter and is a kind and supportive figure in her young life, and someone that she clearly looks up to and respects. I loved that.

Some fun easter eggs I enjoyed: 

The book opens with Clem making a bycocket for a fox

They use a horn (one time) as the predetermined signal for help, and it’s actually hilarious. “We have purchased a particularly horrible horn. You’ll know it when you hear it.”

I identify as a lesbian, and I’m writing this in my Robin Hood Corner™, so I am the target audience for this book in many ways. I enjoyed reading this! I read a good 60% of it in one sitting. It’s hard to say no to a bunch of queer characters adventuring through Sherwood Forest making Robin Hood puns and jokes. But even though I enjoyed reading this, “Not For the Faint of Heart” is not my perfect sapphic Robin Hood book and it made me consider what I’m really looking for when I search out and read books like this. What is it that I want? Can I actually find that in a sapphic Robin Hood novel? 

Here’s what I landed on: I’m not sure that I can find the perfect sapphic Robin Hood story for me, but! I don’t need to feel personally represented by characters on-page in a Robin Hood story because my personal identity is already so wrapped up in Robin Hood. I’m already there, whether or not my specific sexual and romantic identity is included. Even if this isn’t the perfect fit for me, it's delightful to know that sapphics and other queer folks get to read books like this where they can find a niche for themselves in the wide world of Robin Hood stories. The story of Robin Hood is for everyone.

Robin Hood Shelf: for more Robin Hood book reviews

*Minor spoiler below the cut!

In the distant past of this book, Robin and Marian amicably end their relationship so that Robin and Will Scarlet can get married, with Marian’s complete encouragement and support. With my aforementioned deeply personal preconceived ideas, I feel kind of weird about Robin and Marian being with anyone other than each other. But okay! That’s fine. I can appreciate the heart of this. Unfortunately, rather than allow Marian to stick around as a capable outlaw and a good friend, she dies without explanation and has little to no impact on the Merry Men or her granddaughter. Sigh. Marian has a habit of dying off-page in Robin Hood novels, and I was disappointed to see that continued here. 

In the end, none of that matters to the average reader. I mean, I learned this information in a grand total of four brief lines across the whole book, so it could be very easy for the average reader to skip right over this. It’s just that I have a shelf of Marian books and a Marian spreadsheet, so I care more than most about this.

[phr0gg13]

Rescue Mission

Octavian x Gn!Reader

Summary: As the newly appointed praetorian the reader must deal with Octavian and his habit of stealing campers stuffed animals.

This can be read as a platonic or romantic fic! No use of (Y/N) and readers gender is never mentioned!

After Jason had disappeared Reyna was in dire need of a new Praetorian… So here you were, filling in some big shoes that were left for you. Little did you know that being Praetorian was like babysitting hundreds of kids who all had issues. Demigods deserved to have free therapy… Yet your favorite person to babysit was the Augur Octavian. He seemed to always invite some sort of problems, whether he decided to be mean to the fifth cohort or he stole some campers stuffed animal and offered it to the gods. Reyna had basically made you his full-time handler. Which is why you are making your way to the apollo shrine, to try and take back a few stuffed animals he had recently stolen. Hopefully you can make it before the poor things are totally destroyed. Another part of the job has been collected the carcasses of the stuffed animals and trying to sew them back together.

As you entered the shrine you could see Octavian. He had ditched the toga today and just wore his camp shirt and some dark wash jeans. You cleared your throat.

“Hey…”

Octavian looked behind him and sneered at you. “What do you want?” Clearly he had not been expecting to get caught so soon again. You walked closer to him and narrowed your eyes. “I have a trade offer for you…” He turned around and it gave you time to see that the stuffed animals were not harmed yet… He scoffed as he examined you. “A trade offer?” “Yep… You stop stealing campers stuffed animals and the praetorians will supply you with new ones instead.” You smiled at him as he thought about the offer. “Do I get one whenever I want…?” He asked quietly as he looked into your eyes. You shook your head softly. “We dont have that kind of budget… Youll get one each week… Even that took alot of convincing for Reyna…”

He looked at you like you had two heads. “You were the one to bring it up to Reyna?” He asked softly as his eyes turned from their usual cold and callous look to a softer, confused expression. “Yes… It wouldnt be fair if you werent allowed to do your offerings but you need to stop stealing the campers stuff…” You walked closer, keeping your hands behind your back. “I am getting a bit tired of fetching stuffed animals, especially sewing them back together.” You said with a soft smile.

He let out a scoff that sounded more like a laugh. “You sewed them back together?” You nodded your head and shrugged your shoulders. “Im like the best Praetorian huh?” You grinned, he only rolled his eyes at you and then turned to look back at the shrine with the still intact stuffed animals. “Okay… I accept your offer” A smile came to your face as you hummed. “Good… I have a little present.” This made Octavian turn with his eyebrows raised. “A present…?” You nodded and smiled at him. “Yeah… Close your eyes and hold out your hands.” This made him give you a look that said ‘You cant be serious’, though when you didnt say anything he sighed and did as you asked. Taking your hands from behind your back you placed a stuffed rabbit, you had been carrying, in his hands. His eyes opened once he felt the contact of the fur. “Surprise!” You said with a grin as you studied his expression. “I… Thank you…” He said softly as he looked down at the stuffed rabbit. You hummed and walked closer to the shrine, you started to round up all the campers stuffies, there was about four. “I figured you probably wanted to do an offering today, so now you can…”

He just starred at the rabbit and hummed softly. “Yeah… Thank you.” Holding all the campers stolen plushies you smiled. “Anytime. I gotta go return these now.” Octavian only nodded as he briefly looked up to you. You then started to leave the shrine. Octavian watched you with his lips formed into a tight line. He didnt understand this feeling he had… Feelings, there were multiple, all confusing and different. He looked back down to the stuffed animal and sigh. Mentally apologizing to his dad as he left the shrine. He went to his cabin and set down the rabbit on his bed. There it sat, undisturbed and intact.

[sammyluvr]

hiiii marí!!! how are you??? ;))

hmm, like, i've been thinking about sam x reader with amnesia (platonic or romantic), do you have any hc about that?? thanks <33

HI BABYDOLL <33 i'm good i missed you! how are you <33

i wasn’t sure if you wanted this to be a full set of hcs which might be why i missed this ask so sorry love! but i’m just gonna do a little brain dump for now since it felt hard to format as request headcanons for some reason if that’s okay <33 lmk if you want them as a full set of hcs like i do for requests though!!

i’m also not sure what kind of amnesia you mean but that just means i can talk about lots of different things hehe <33

if it was a simple(ish) case of retrograde trauma amnesia where you lose a bit of your memory because of getting hit in the head and getting a concussion, well, even though he knows it’s normal and that you’ll likely regain the memories, he’s still so worried. it really scares him that you don’t remember what happened to you or how you got injured, especially if it happened while he wasn’t with you for whatever reason!! he would really really really hate not knowing and he’d hate the confusion that he’s sure that you’re feeling. 

he knows you well enough to know that it’s really frustrating for you not to remember exactly what happened :(( so he’s really very comforting about it!! promises that you’ll remember in time and that it’ll be alright. and you’re alright now so that’s all that matters!!! lots of kisses (if you’re romantic) and trying his hardest not to show you how worried he is.

or we have the very dramatic total amnesia which is very rare medically so why not have it be that a witch cursed you!! at first, he’s so confused and concerned, what do you mean you don’t remember who you are? who i am? but he quickly catches on to realize that you’ve forgotten literally everything except for basic functioning skills. and he wants to comfort you and hold you and kiss you and reassure you like he normally would about anything else scary. but he knows that you technically don’t know him, so that would just confuse you further.

so instead, he’s still very comforting and sweet because you’re very obviously frightened and confused. he just has to keep his distance :// but he’s incredibly kind and caring and promises over and over again that he’ll help you figure this out. he also understands (and hates) that you have no idea if you should trust him. but it’s likely your only option, so you let him help you. and of course, he sticks to his promise, being sure to take care of you until he can break the spell and bring your memory back.

ugh the angst if your memory only returns slowly though for whatever reason. so in the very first few moments/minutes after the spell is broken, you’re still clueless and he’s terrified that it didn’t work. but slowly, you start to remember and he’s so relieved. sometimes your memories return in big swaths and you get so overwhelmed, or little moments that you don’t even notice. he’s always there to comfort you if you’re overwhelmed by the amount of memories you gain back. or if it’s a particularly heavy and difficult memory that you basically have to process all over again :(( he’s just so sweet and comforting through all of it.

maybe it’s a few hours after the spell breaks and you’ve begun to remember the details about him and your relationship, and that part is lovely of course, but there’s lots of heavy things for you to remember too, so you’re just very stressed and quiet in the small motel room. and sam doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but he also wants to comfort you. and you’re still you 100%, so he knows just how much his kisses comfort you :,) so he gently asks if it’s alright to kiss you. and that immediately sounds like such a comfort, so you instantly agree. plus you very clearly remember loving the act of kissing him. in fact, you very clearly remember loving him, and you certainly still feel that exact way. and yes, when he kisses you, everything starts to feel a little bit better and you get a new, soft rush of sweet and simple memories of him and it’s quite lovely.

[heliza24]

I'm kind of confused about how you feel about Lydia, I didn't think there was anything negative about the portrayal. You say she was just there for a lore dump but the way I see it, she was talking about her own life, an adventure she'd been on before. I didn't see it as dismissing her as a character

The short answer is that there isn’t anything hugely wrong with that scene. But because it’s the only real scene we’ve gotten with her so far, and because she is the most developed physically disabled character in all of D20, it is not enough.

To expand on that: Sure, she was telling the Bad Kids about her life and her previous adventures. But let’s think about why she was doing that in that moment. She was there because the Bad Kids needed to know more about her embedded crystal/metaphorical chronic illness in order to solve their own personal mysteries. She is a (very) supporting character in their narrative. We don’t get to see her go on a character arc, or change, or learn more about her desires as a character. Her disability story, which is very interesting, is in the show only because it serves the story needs of the nondisabled PCs.

Now of course all stories need supporting characters/npcs, and I am happy some of them are disabled. The problem arises when there has never been a physically disabled PC in Dimension 20. So the only disability narrative we see is in service of nondisabled characters. The problem is not Lydia; the problem is that she is alone.

You might recognize this problem with other media and other marginalized groups. To use a kind of simple example, I spent a lot of my childhood frustrated that the only women seemingly allowed in fantasy or action movies were the romantic interests of male protagonists. These love interests existed to serve the story of their male counterpart (often by dying dramatically and sending the male protagonist on some kind of revenge quest). There are still plenty of movies and shows that follow these tropes, but it bothers me way less now in 2024 because we also have a ton of tv and movies with complex female protagonists. The abundance of representation is what has changed.

I think this problem is extra clear on Dimension 20 because they have gotten SO many chances to center a disabled narrative and have not. They get up to six protagonists every season, which is way more than most tv or movies get.

Compared to a lot of other pieces of media that try to add in disabled characters, Dimension 20 is doing a good job with Lydia. They haven’t hired a nondisabled actor to play her (super common in tv and movies unfortunately) and they’ve clearly worked with consultants on her. I really like, for instance, that her persistence with the crystal prevents her being magically cured, which is one of my least favorite tropes. However, there is a huge trend in Hollywood of hiring disabled consultants when they want to tell a disabled story but never actually hiring a disabled writer for a full time, credited writing gig in a writers room. The players on D20 are the writing room. Why has a disabled person never been invited there?

Imagine, for a second, that we got a Fantasy High prequel season. All the adults we know in Fantasy High are teens, and they’re PCs. Imagine a really talented performer, who uses a wheelchair, playing Lydia. Imagine the emotional scenes we would see! Imagine the insight into her psyche we would get, the way her relationship to the Crystal would be developed. That’s what the scene with Lydia in Junior Year made me long for.

(I do have some frustration about the way Kristen reacted to Lydia, and the way that fandom reacted to Kristen. I did find Kristen offering empathy to Lydia in the form of the help action sweet, but being nice to a disabled person doesn’t deserve outsized praise, because we are not objects of pity. I also think the way that Kristen touched Lydia’s neck without permission is reminiscent of the way many wheelchair users are touched and pushed without permission, which is very violating. I don’t think Kristen would have had that same reaction to Sandra Lynn, for instance. Kristen is really Going Through It right now, so I’m not particularly mad at her for doing that. But it is irritating to see fandom singing the praises of the help action without acknowledging the touching without consent that followed).

Thank you for the question! I appreciate the opportunity to have a dialogue about this.

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 17

Hello darlings!

It was another big week - 24 fics! I should really start sleeping at night instead of reading until 3 am.... oh well. Enjoy the fruits of my sleep disorder!

You can find the Spreadsheet in all it's organizational glory here and all of my previous recommendations here.

Recommendations below the pedro meme (created by @gasolinerainbowpuddles)

Ravish -a Joel series by @psychedelic-ink

I've read a few like... cam girl/chat service/sex work type AUs and I have to say this is one of my favorites. I really really love the little Dieter cameos. And a little birdie (the literal author) told me he may be making an appearance in a future installment??? I am so excited ugh. Joel is like... stunningly hot in this despite being the kind of guy that falls in love with a cam girl. Yummy yummy

Seven minutes in heaven (the bathroom) -a Frankie one shot by @tieronecrush

A fun twist on the bathroom quickie trope. Frankie is so filthy in this fic and it is fantastic. I really like the ending also. Made me giggle

A Savage Place - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

SUB JOEL MY BELOVED!!! This is one of those more realistic sub joels where he's confused as fuck about liking it, but he really clearly needs someone to take control for a little while. I really fucking love this so much. (there's pegging in part 2 @ my pegging enthusiasts <3 ) Reader is hot as hell, also. GOD I love this.

Whistle in the Dark - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Romantic cucking <3 No but okay the like basic plot is that your husband is a piece of shit who cheats on you so you like forcibly cuck him with Joel and Joel has feelings and it's sooooo hot and so good and like... affirming? and sweet? And your husband deserves to have his dick cut off bc he does something real fucked up, but having to watch Joel Miller dick his wife down GOOD is a start.

He hurt me but it felt like true love - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

Mean sexy Joel is pissy cause he found your dildo and he's gonna make that your problem. It's so hot. Vaginal DP????? GOD DAMN. Someone said DP isn't depraved a while back (eyeroll). They should read this. This is beautifully depraved

Feral Woman - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

This series has me feeling so many emotions. Watching FW/reader/Julia/Bug heal over time and learn to trust again is so fucking good. Susan is the light of my motherfuckin life I love that woman with all my heart. This series is GORGEOUS

Endless Night - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

yes i basically worked my way through Puddles' masterlist can you fucking blame me look at this shit. Anyway. EnNi reader/OC is, on the surface, the sunshine to Joel's grump. But the thing I love about her is that she's got this underlying darkness that adds so much depth to the grumpy x sunshine trope. I'm also eating up the borderline enemies to lovers dynamic going on here. Joel is such a dick lmao. I'm so excited for the rest of this fic.

All the good girls go to hell - an Ezra one shot by @psychedelic-ink

DUBCON with PRIEST EZRA yesssssss. The Haunted Hoedown is the gift that keeps on giving. This fic is so fucking HOT. Ezra as a priest seems so wrong and so right at the same time. This is excellent. I'd gladly go to hell for this man UNF.

Three's a crowd - a Marcus P/Javi P one shot by @agentmarcuspike

Marcus motherfuckin cute ass baby Pike watches Javier Peña fuck you. Yeah. Cucking Marcus Pike. That's what this is. Marcus is also characterized perfectly. Like this is so fucking cute actually. And it's really hot. obviously.

Begging for you to take my hand - a Joel series by @jupiter-soups

This fic is driving me up the wall in the best way. Joel is a big dumb idiot man who is like... not emotionally intelligent enough to realize he's in the wrong while trying to do what he perceives to be the "right thing." Here's what I commented verbatim on part 2 "Joel 'You Deserve Better Than Me' Miller back on his bullshit. I love this so much. Joel is so sad and so stupid i kinda wanna hit him." So if you're like me and you like to watch Joel be a sad little idiot who is also super hot.... this is the one

Refuge - a Joel series by @cool-iguana

GAH THIS IS SO GOOD!!! This fic really situates you in reader's head. Like you feel disoriented and frustrated and scared when she does and you feel like a powerful badass when she does and it's SO good. Basically in this one your husband joel shows up with some kid who is def not your kid in Jackson after you've been there for a hot minute and it's a big wtf moment. There's some other shit going on that I don't wanna spoil but like... this is so good. I know I keep saying that but GOT DAMN

Exposed - a Javi P one shot by @atticrissfinch

big fat dub con warning on this one. I so rarely see Javi written as a creep and I really fucking enjoyed it. I would like to humbly request more creep!professor!javi p

The Apprentice - a Dave York one shot by @pedropascalsx

This has like mafia!au vibes while not really being that, but what I mean by that is that the big bad murder daddy who you thought you'd be scared of saves you from murder father (ur dad). I really liked the characterization of Dave in this and the smut was HOT

Stockings - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

Daddy kink daddy kink daddy kink. This is inspired by a photo that literally looks like denim shirt joel is helping you put your stockings on. This fic manages to be adorable and aggressively hot at the same time. I am in love.

Slumber - a Joel one shot by @cool-iguana

I love a good somno fic. also this is literally their 2nd fic they ever wrote and it's so good?! TALENT. There was a thing in this that caught me off guard bc I fully did not read the warnings, but I was not at all mad about it... HOT

Yearling - a Joel series by @justagalwhowrites

Holy motherfuckin shit balls dude. I'm noticing that I'm reading a lot of Reader-Who-Is-Extremely-Traumatized fics this week and I refuse to examine why that is but also they all have handled the heavy content very very well. Anyway. Reader is super duper good with horses and Joel is so soft and Ellie is so Ellie and I love all of this. I really love the way Kit builds the world in her fics. Like the opening chapter and then the way Bambi's back story is built up and the spaces that she exists in, they're all so vivid and good and real to me. I'm so fucking in love with the way Kit includes these details like reader singing and playing music, joel's coat, the light on in the house when Bambi is gone. It feels like nothing is there just to be there, like it's all important and it has a significant impact on the story and man... (also if you're worried about starting a longfic that's not finished, it updates like twice a fuckin week. Fast writer lol).

The Cabin in the Woods- a Dave York one shot by @xdaddysprincessxx

Getting kidnapped by Dave York and held in his cabin in the woods. Dark dark dark fic and so fucking well written. Love this <3

Isn't She a Doll? - a Dave York one shot by @proxima-writes

You are Dave's perfect little housewife and that is definitely the only thing going on here. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. (just read it)

Who do you call? - a Joel one shot by @chloeangelic

Your hot neighbor Joel helps you get rid of a spider! How sweet of him. Oh and then he rails you on the couch. I really love the way they have a whole conversation while they're fucking about how long it's been since they've fucked anyone. Chloe just has this wonderful way of infusing humor into really really hot fics that I adore

Does your mother know? - a Joel one shot by @cupofjoel

Another bathroom quickie for the rec list and god DAMN this one is hot. Close Family Friend!Joel (god I love putting this man in situations). There's something about being forced to stay quiet that just makes everything hotter.

Cellmate's Nephew!Joel - a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

JoJo is actually the love of my life. His tattoos, his voice, his dick print.... sigh. Can't wait to get out prison so this man can rail me on every available surface between the prison and Mabel's house.

The Man That I Love - a Joel series by @lumoverheaven

Joel is an idiot who doesn't know what he has until he almost loses it. The first part is heartwrenching and sad and I love it. The second part is wonderful and makes me tear up a lil

I said I didn't feel nothing, baby, but I lied - a Veracruz one shot by @iamasaddie

Veracruz is so hot. I swear that man could punch me in the face and I'd suck his dick for it (that is not healthy oops). This lovely little drabble is literally just you getting your ass spanked so raw you won't be able to sit for a week and it's HOT AS HELL

Creep - a Joel one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Joel Miller is your super hot creepy neighbor and he manages to get you to fuck him and that is definitely the only thing going on here. nothing fishy at all. nope. totally normal reader fucks her creepy neighbor fic. (just fucking trust me and read it ok?)

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Happy Reading!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

yay! buddie canon in the fic and in the show!!! love how eddie is freaking out and buck just like kiss me again hottie. in shannon we trust 🙌🙌🙌 fixing the lawsuit divorce and completing the polycule!! i am NOT ready for the eddie begins/will chapter; jane will be born already, so will s + e put buck as guardian for both of them?!?!? love love love the power throuple💗💗💗

⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️

ooooo…magical realism. silly evil billy boils you better kill t*mmy.

Thank you!!! And things will definitely go a little different in the throuple-verse for sure!

I want you to know I hand wrote this all on the plane.

1k for 🔼

---

Another small, nervous nod.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

Buck isn’t sure how to process. He feels a lot of things. Not least of all, a little sexually frustrated. He doesn’t know what he wants, but he sure as hell wants something. His throat goes a little dry with all the wanting. He can see the humor in it, too. The irony. At first, it makes him want to laugh. But the more he lingers on it the less funny it seems. 

“Wait a fucking second,” Buck says. “Shannon kissed me, and I spent hours thinking our friendship was over, meanwhile, the two of you screwed and made up?”

“Uh, sort of?” Eddie admits. “Sorry.” 

“I knew you were in way too good of a mood that night. Wow. Unbelievable.”

“What should I have done, Buck? Called you and invited you over?”

“Well… Yeah!” 

Eddie goes even redder. His eyes bug out a little. “I mean… I had no idea how you… That’s not fair.” 

Buck sighs. Concedes. “Okay. You’re probably right.”

He’s had threesomes before. Quite a few in Peru, with two other servers at the resort. He and Ali had even discussed it. Might’ve looked into it, too. If she hadn’t left. But in all his adventures, he hasn’t done that with or considered doing that with one of the two other people being a man. He’s thinking about it now, though. He finds he quite likes the thought. He just…Yeah, mauve wouldn’t have reacted super well if Eddie called and pitched it to him. He sees Eddie’s point.

“Wait,” Buck realizes aloud. “Does this mean you and Shannon are back together?”

Eddie shakes his head. “No. It was just sex. A one off.”

Wasn’t just sex kind of what got Eddie and Shannon in quite a few predicaments to begin with? Maybe Buck won’t mention that. 

“We had a long talk after,” Eddie says. “And one again today.”

“Oh… Oh, yeah?”

“This is where maybe I’m about to be a total selfish ass,” Eddie says. “Maybe.. Delusional? Greedy?”

What a way to sell whatever he’s about to say. 

“Spit it out, man,” Buck pleads.

“She knows how I feel about you. And… And she said you and I being together wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for her… For her and I… If she ever… If we ever worked through our shit.”

Whoa.

“Uh…” Buck replies, unsure how to feel. It’s not exactly… Well, it isn’t quite a romantic declaration, is it? But Eddie already sort of did one of those. “Sorry. Um… Like an open marriage where I’m the… The side piece?” 

Eddie looks horrified. “What? No!”

“Okay… Because that’s sort of what that sounded like.”\

“No! Buck, no. No… I… I don’t know how to explain it. We didn’t… There was no, uh, definition. But that’s not how I see you. Jesus. And I don’t want any sort of open anything.”

“Not open, but… Not monogamous?” Buck asks. 

Eddie shrugs, clearly a little perplexed. “I don’t know! See? I told you it was bad. Greedy. I… I just love both of you. I don’t know what to do about it and I don’t if it even matters because she might never want me back and you don’t necessarily want me now.”

“I do,” Buck says. 

Eddie sort of freezes. “You… You do?”

Buck nods. “I’m super fucking confused about a lot right now but that much seems really clear to me.”

Eddie’s shoulders sag forward, relieved. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Buck agrees. “Can I ask you something, though?”

“Of course,” Eddie replies. 

“And this isn’t me asking for anything. It’s just… A mindset question, I guess.”

“Okay,” Eddie nods. 

“If yours and Shannon’s positions were reversed, would you give her the same… I don’t know… Blessing?”

Eddie doesn’t answer Buck right away. He chews on it. Which scares Buck a little bit. Because, truth be told, Buck is fairly certain how he answers is going to determine a lot. Buck is willing to experiment. Try a lot. Think outside conventional structures. But the reason behind that experimentation has to be motivated from the right place. Right? Otherwise… He’s just asking to get hurt. Or be a part of hurting someone else. Which is worse. To him, it’s worse. 

“Honestly?” Eddie asks. 

Buck nods. Of course honestly He needs the truth about this.

“It would… It would hurt to not be a part of it. But… If I had to think of either of you with anyone else… Of someone else in my kids’ lives? I mean… Who better? Who else is… I don’t want to say good enough, but… Yeah?”

Okay. Okay, Buck… He thinks he can work with that. 

“Can I talk to her about it?” Buck asks. 

Eddie shrugs. “Not my decision.”

Right. Right, this isn’t a matter of Eddie is in charge and Buck and Shannon are both his. This is… Something else. Buck gets a strange sort of thrill in his stomach. Fear, maybe? But also anticipation? Excitement. Like there’s a very special locked door he;’s being given a chance to open. He sort of wants to walk through it without even looking. 

“What are you… I mean, I know this is a lot. Believe me. I didn’t plan for this today at all,” Eddie says. “But can I ask what you’re thinking, maybe?”

Buck… Well, he’s thinking he actually doesn’t want to think so hard anymore. He’s still confused He’s still not clear on the arrangement. And maybe he should be. First. Precautionary measures or whatever. But it feels a lot like, maybe, just maybe, everyone here can get what they want. 

“I’m thinking, you sort of owe me one,” he replies with a smug little smirk.

As expected, this throws Eddie for a loop.

“I… Owe you one?” He asks. 

“Mhm,” Buck replies, voice low.  He steps a bit closer to Eddie. “Because here I’ve been for months, feeling all this shame. About what happened with Shannon. About… About how I couldn’t shake it. And there you two were, knowing all the exciting parts without me.”

---

48 for ⚖️:

---

“You’re sure? Bobby asks. 

Once, Buck would have taken it as a lack of faith in him. He understands Bobby a bit better now. 

“Still catching up on sleep,” Buck admits. “But I’ll let you know if anything comes up. I promise.”

Bobby claps him on the shoulder. 

“Okay. Glad to have you back, Buck.”

“Glad to be back.”

Buck, of course, cannot explain to Bobby the thing does that does come up. It defies explanation. He doesn’t even know how he’ll explain it to Eddie, when the time comes that he can. This is… Weird. Even as far as recent standards go. 

They’re called to the scene of an accident. A woman drove into a telephone pole on a residential street. Her husband was beside her in the passenger seat. The injuries are minimal. The power on the block is out, the lines are down, and the couple needs help safely exiting the car. 

It’s a nice car. Not that Buck knows much about that. That’s more Tommy’s domain. But when they arrive at the scene, Eddie whistles, looks at Chim, and makes a comment about it being a shame. 

Buck knows something is off as soon as he sees the victims. Or, more specifically, their auras. The woman, the driver, is a muted sort of gray. Sort of a nothingness, overall. Not very memorable. But the husband? The husband has the same crimson aura as Lawrence and Tommy. 

When he sees it, Buck actually hesitates for a second. Stuttering before moving to help him. Only Eddie seems to notice. Mauve because he’s noticing Buck notice people now, given what he knows.

“All good?” Eddie asks.

Buck mumbles a quick affirmative and gets to work.

The closer Buck gets, though, the stronger it gets. There’s a heavy sinking feeling in Buck’s arm. Like something pressing into his skin, right over the mystery tattoo. It’s distracting. Especially since it could be more curse bullshit.